my mara-walk-jog

well, these are all the people behind whom i managed to mara-walk-jog the latest edition of the mumbai marathon....
my shoes killed me....need to invest in new ones urgently....or atleast before the next one....
hogged on a damn good brunch...after ages....

oh...! n got locked out of the house, courtesy the house keys bidding me good riddance...

all n all... a great and memorable day...that i shall remember for a long time...only thing i missed is my sleep....yawnnnnnnnn.....!!

n more thoughts...

Is it that the human mind can never be satisfied and happy?
If things are working out in one sphere of our lives, we look for more reasons to be unhappy about somewhere else. Work’s going fine, Wow! What can I worry about now?? Oh, yes, we haven’t bought a house as yet! Need to re do the furnishings, get a new car!
After we have screwed up ourselves financially, we start looking at our relationships. Be it with our partners, loves, friends, parents, whoever happens to be giving us even a little bit of stress in our lives currently.
And if we don’t find somebody, we go back to when someone did actually hurt us and stress about that, or, if we were the one to have done something, we stress about how matters could have been different.
Personal, financial, professional, studies, sexual, whatever you can think of, we have a problem with it at every stage of our lives. If we don’t have one, we create one. Does it make us feel more important? To what are we actually searching answers for? What is the ultimate goal? Can we ever be satisfied with what we have? Can we ever be really happy, without needing
psychological support of our problems to prop us up? Without needing others to define what we are and what we do?
This is not philosophizing, but the questions I keep asking myself, especially because I keep going through this cycle myself. Sometimes it just plain feels like petty issues running after things and never being happy and accepting what we have and can do. But then, I always come back to the fact that if we didn’t have a goal to reach for, we would never try to go beyond
what we can do, what we can believe in…

Think I just sound silly….

I wish I had an answer to what I want in my life and not keep running away.

some parts of my last trip...

Some months back, I went for a short trip to some parts not explored.... Part mistake and part education, an introduction to some parts of myself I never knew about and to things I don’t want in my life. Gives one clarity!!
But no, lets leave that aside. Today, I am talking about the good parts of the trip....this is old stuff..which i just jotted down then...random thoughts...


The sun is rising on the right. From my window on the left, the sky is still dark and blue, the moon is sparkling silver white. The plains below are hazy lines and textures. Once in a while, it shimmers up at different places, and, I then realize, that it is the moon reflecting off the water below, flashes of curves and lines-white silver light.
----Sometime later, the sun reflects off the underside of the wing, turning it light orange pink. It is complimented by a lighter sky with a hazier moon, cut right across by feather clouds, the pinkish orange staying over this line----more beautiful than one can ever describe. It looks just the way the sky looks in movies, when they pan the shot climbing up the stratosphere towards space.
-----as the sun climbed higher and we neared the airport, the landscape was just as viewed from google earth. It makes you laugh, how much this place is like a painting. Clean, perfect lines, flat colours and no greys. A birds eye view shows the city laid out precisely, with nothing looking out of place. The buildings are all old, nut looking at them one can’t really believe that. Perfect straight lines, no illegal construction, complete uniformity, but even despite that, a very strong personal identity to each and every building.

Green, green trees, perfectly planned communal spaces, wherein every need and thought has been planned for and given space. There are people, but not so many. There is hardly any litter. Beggars don’t come running across to harass you, the way the firangs are treated in our country. You are not stared at here, but are funnily enough accepted. Is it really so, or are we just plain ignored?
But the best part is, that I have never ever seen so many birds –ducks, swans, geese and myriad others that I do not even recognize abound and live around the same spaces that people do. There are quaint seating areas built around you mini canals everywhere, where one can just go and relax and unwind.
----the sky is absolutely open, blue with white swirls of clouds-whispers across the skies, as if someone’s just taken a brush and lightly swirled it across. The sun’s up from 5 to about 10.30 –11 at night. Long days of summer to relax in. Perfect light for my camera! Its bright white light – doesn’t get any more intense than at 6 in the morning and remains so the whole day, flagging off only when its about to set 10ish…
Quaintest is to see people cycling away, leisurely, 8 year olds to 80 years olds….

i am So So Upset...

i am upset.

i have been upset before, quite a bit, but i hope i am never again for this reason.
i have been always told, that the older you grow, the newer friends you make, they are never as true to you as your childhood friends are. i never believed that, but people are making me change my mind.I hope i never make this mistake again.

i find that i have made quite a few mistakes in the people i have allowed to keep in touch with me, and allowed into my life and friend circle, people i have opened up to in the past year. I really regret doing that.

i open up to them, because i think they will understand me as a person, not so that they would go behind my back and try and snoop. If they have the guts for it, or really care so much, they should come forth and ask me, if they are the supposed friends they are supposed to be. I was never so upset, when the people they are currently chatting up with moved out of my life, as much as now, by this. It makes me feel right, that i don't normally give my trust so easily, and i should stick by that resolution for life. Value the real friends and discard the crap that is out to ruin your life....!..aaarrrghhh...!!! i so very much hate this...!!!

the only resultant thing is that people are going to lose a good friend, my trust lost is never to return again.

good riddance to bad rubbish....!!

live n let live

i do not understand people.

i ask very little of them, almost nothing to be precise.
i let them be and just ask for them to let me be, as i am, to let me get on with the way i want to be.
i just don't understand why they can't understand this simple life path of mine.
i do not want to know what makes them tick, what makes their life sweet and sour, what made their day beautiful or painful or sad or happy or grand...or deliriously exciting....

well i do, but not to the extent that i am going to probe and prosecute and ponder and poke away at their way of life...

i just let them be, to be the person they want to be.

i just wish that people would give me that much of respect too and let me be and not complain that i don't care.

out of my reach

the clock is ticking,
wht i want is right there,
just,out of my reach

the journey never ends,
running after ever eternal wants,
the goal is up ahead,
just, out of my reach

love is there for me to find,
do i want it, is the question
for it is out there,
just, out of my reach

life is waiting,
up for grabs,
reach out your hand,
b'cos u'll find it only when you look for it

a lil girl

there was once a lil girl,
who could never do as she was told,
and loved it best to be as contrary,
to what was expected of her.

she loved to read all night thru,
esp when she was told NO.

she loved to end her lines with a squiggle,
her songs with a warble,
and her dances with a wiggle...
go figure..!

and loved to tell NO, just when she meant YES,
esp to people, who ought to have known her better.

but she ran into trouble, when life caught upto her.
people gave her what they thought she said she wanted
and never understood her.

there was only one lil problem,
she ever so remained the lil girl,
who could never do as she was told.